Wednesday, 30 September 2015

10 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

I'm not yet the big 3-0. In fact, I'm not quite 28 yet, although I'm edging closer by the day. I expected that by this age I would feel 'adult-y'. But I don't. I have realised that being an adult is actually just about googling how to do stuff, and phoning your mum to ask her how she does things. And then just pretending you know how naturally. I've realised that maybe you don't ever actually feel like an adult..ever? I've also realised and learnt many things that I wish I could tell my younger self. Some of which I will share...

1. Don't Waste Money On Lunch Every Day.
Working opposite practically every single food outlet known to man is wonderful for satisfying the daily munchies that appear mid morning, however buying lunch every day is super expensive. At it's least it's £3 a day for a sandwich meal deal, and at the worst it's feeding-friday in the office when it's all out eat until you explode. When you add the money up, you could practically buy a Mulberry with the money you save over a year! Sarnies and a Barbie lunchbox are the way to go.

2. Save More.
Urgh. I sound like an old person - or an actual adult. But seriously, save more. Those unexpected bills, car bills, boiler break-downs DO happen. And they're flipping expensive. Saving just a teeny bit means you don't have to delve into the shoe fund, and can still afford to repair the car, and get the Loubs.

3. The World Doesn't End When Your Heart Gets Broken.
And boy, does it get broken more than once. Those horrible days and weeks after a heartbreak can feel like the whole world is ending, or worse, like it's not - and everyone but you is stuck in a time warp of misery. Those evenings of crying into your pillow and/or gin, thinking you'll never meet anyone else, that you'll never get over this guy, or that guy - it does happen. The world does go on, and so will you (swear, I could write a song about this). Yes, it will really, REALLY suck for a while, and sometimes a while is months, but eventually you'll wake up and it will hurt a little bit less. And then a bit less. And eventually you'll think about them less, and even more eventually you will meet someone else who will show you that you aren't the unlovable, unfancyable person you felt like. Ta-da, the world didn't really end - it is also acceptable to punch someone who tells you this at the time. Wallowing is absolutely fine.

4. Your Hips Don't Lie.
Darling, when you're young and youthful (and pre-babies) your body will bounce back with the bounciness of something really bouncy. That night out? That extra cake? No problem, your body will love you as much the day after, as it did the day before. However, when you approach 30 and/or are post-baby, it's not quite the same. That night out? Your skin, headache, tiredness will remind you of it for days. There will be no recovery less than 2/3 days. Of pure horrificness that cannot be solved with a cheeky McDonalds anymore. That extra cake? You may as well stick it directly on your bum. Just join the gym earlier and you might have a better outcome.

5. Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone.
Who wants to live a life that's always the same? Taking risks is scary, and don't get me wrong, the older you get, those risks become slightly more calculated when you have bills/career/child/partner riding on the back of them, BUT the risks are what make memories. Resting where you're comfortable is safe and secure, and that's fine, but once in a while take a risk. It might backfire, it might be a totally explosion of crap at the highest level, but the memory or lesson will make you who you are. AND will help you accomplish the things you want...that dream job? Apply. That gorgeous guy? Approach him. Travelling? DO IT! Step out of your comfort zone, and take some ground.

6. Don't Mix Drinks.
Okay. I'm probably really late to this party. But I was always Mrs Sensible when I was younger when it came to drink. Boring, I know. It wasn't until I started to enjoy a night out a bit more, that I realised mixing drinks was a big, fat NO. Namely - wine, champagne and tequila. Just don't do it. I can assure you it seems like a good idea at the time, but it never will be. Infant, the morning after it will resemble a nightmare. Nuff said.


7. Drinking On A School Night Is Actually Okay.
Those things about school nights being taboo? NAH! Some of the best nights out happen on a Thursday where I'm from, you know the kind, where one drink after work turns into shots and dancing to Timberland in your work suit at 2am, when you've got work at 9am again... It's also okay to have a glass of wine after work, or maybe a bottle depending on the gravity of the day. Anyone that tells you it's not okay to drink on a school night needs to loosen up. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

8. Heels Are ALWAYS Best.
Some girls can pull off the cute flats. You - can not. Some girls can make flats look fashionable and cute and some can even manage sexy in flats. You are not one of those girls. You look like a platypus who's drunk and blind when wearing flats. Yes they're easy and casual, but to other people you look like you've forgotten how to walk. Give the flats a miss and leave them for the girls who can pull them off.

9. Matching Socks And Underwear Means You've Made It.
Appreciate the period in your life where you don't have a child to get ready for school, a dog to let out, breakfast to make, a boyfriend to take care of...those mornings come so very infrequently. Having the time to match your pair of socks, and your underwear is a rarity in the life of a parent. It's so rare, you'll actually feel like a superhero when you do manage it. So, my advice? Enjoy every moment of the years when you can indulge in wearing a matching bra and pants set without needing to run from the ironing basket to the bedroom drawer like a headless chicken whilst assessing whether 12 minutes late is REALLY that bad.

10. Buy A Lawnmower.
Ugh. The ultimate sign of 'adulthood'. The worst purchase you'll ever make, and yes you'll stand at the till in B&Q and begrudge handing your card over, while thinking of all the clothes and make-up you could buy with the money. But if you don't, your garden will resemble a jungle of the worst kind, and people (mostly your elderly neighbours) will hate and judge you for your lack of ability to cut it and be a normal human being.

Others:
>Don't date heartbreakers - they're all douchebags.
>It's okay to ask for help - unless you've ripped a dress in a changing room and you're stuck.
>Don't go to the supermarket hungry - just don't.
>Ho's before bro's - always.
>Accept your body - unless your minted, you can't change it.









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Monday, 28 September 2015

Autumn Loving



Autumn.

Fall.

Whichever side of the atlantic you're on, this time of year is my absolute fav. Not only is knitwear way more comfy, but it's also great because, who knows? I could just be wearing a super baggy jumper, or I may be hugely bloated from eating too much - the joys of autumnal knitwear are endless. And they cover a multitude of sins - including wearing your pyjamas underneath to nip to the shop...


Everyone loves autumnal colours. I'm no photographer, I can barely take a decent selfie, let alone a 'proper' photo. But autumn colours are amazing, lots of orange, brown and natural colours through nature as well as gracing the catwalks - bravo. I love looking at autumnal photography on Pinterest, and imagining myself in some gorgeous American town, sitting near a lake in my gorgeous wooden house....you know the type... hey, a girl can dream.


Autumn fashion is my favourite for other reasons - mostly, boots. I flipping LOVE boots. Of all footwear, boots are my favourite. Give me a boot over a flip-flop any day. A nice bit of heel for a sexy edge (and added bum wiggle, don't deny you know it happens in heels) but lots of protection from the cold. And everyone that knows me, knows I hate being cold. Winter is hibernation for Lady Writes, I literally clothe myself in a ridiculous amount of layers and quite frequently refuse to leave my house. I also have my heating turned up so high it resembles a tropical country - so autumn is a perfect balance, and the first time I get to crack out the boots after months of open toe sandals and wedges. Hurrah.

It's also the season for funky, thick, scarfs to a.) practically keep warm b.) make any outfit look awesome with little effort. It's okay to wear leather (or faux leather in my case), it's okay to wear clothes that look like your nan knitted them, because somehow (thank the Lord) this style has come back in. And it's also perfectly fine to wear thick fluffy socks at every opportunity.


And the food. Oh the food.

Thank you autumn for your food. I need to eat salad. I'm a foodie. I love eating, but these hips are not as narrow as they once were (cheers childbirth) so salad is common. But come autumn, I've had enough salad and the slow cooker comes out - stew, broth, thick soup, bakes....oh wow, dumplings! Hearty meals that make me proud to be British (lets face it, the weather doesn't). I love them all. And thanks to the above mentioned knitwear, you can eat as much as you like - and no-one knows! Genius.

Sunset walks before it gets cold.

Starry nights. And nights in cuddled up with a movie and glass of wine, because frankly, you're all partied out from the summer. And most likely, skint too.


And of course, the looming C word...

Christmas.

Get your mind out of the gutter guys!


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Thursday, 17 September 2015

7 Reasons You Know He's A Keeper

He makes you laugh. More than anyone else ever has. I mean, full on, belly-deep, tears down your cheeks laughter. And it’s not just once in a while, it’s every day. He’s hilarious, he finds you hilarious and the pair of you together are going to be the couple in the old people’s home pulling pranks on everyone else. And he doesn’t even mind when you laugh so much you snort like a pig. Bonus.


He’s a gentleman. Now I’m all for independent women (Destiny’s Child warble) but a man who is offended at the prospect of you paying for dinner, or…anything. He’s a keeper. He sees his place as the provider, he knows he earns a good wage and doesn’t want you to struggle while he’s well off. The fact that you even offer to pay makes him look like you’ve shot him. The thing is, you don’t expect it and that’s what he likes too.

He’s generous, and not just with his money. He’s generous with his time. He still does his own thing with his mates, but he sees his time with you as an investment in your relationship. He would rather sit on the sofa, binging on tv series with you, than without you – even if you’re both in pj’s and you’re sporting major bun-head, and no make-up. He’s even happy to babysit while you go out with your friends, because he wants you to have fun, to have a break. He even offers to pay, to arrange to have you picked up.

He invests time in being friends with your child. And not just because deep down, he is one! (ha!) He thinks your child is an example of your parenting skills and the fact he gets to play Ninja Turtles is an absolute bonus for him. By the time you even mention watching Spiderman, he’s already set up on the sofa with the little man, ready to release his inner child.


He surprises you. Flowers, wine, chocolate. Not all at the same time, and sometimes all at the same time. That thing you saw in the shop you loved? He goes back a few days later and gets it for you. That night he told you to keep free, he takes you for dinner unexpectedly. He takes you flying in his plane, he tells you he’s got plans to fly you to Paris for the day, to take you to places you love. He’s always one step ahead.

You’re comfortable with each other. Those awkward moments that usually make for great side-ways shifting looks? He laughs them off, he makes you laugh. He talks about awkward things like they’re normal. It makes things normal. You’ve never been more at ease with another person. You like to dress up for him, but know that it’s fine to be in pj’s with bun-head and no make-up. It wouldn’t affect his feelings for you, because he’s feelings aren’t shallow. He accepts you for your faults, and you accept his. No-one’s perfect, but he’s perfect for you.


He’s manly. He knows his place in the relationship. He’s the man. He empties bins, he fixes broken things, he puts pictures up – he flexes his muscles at all the right times. He knows things about cars, about insurance, about bills and banks – so you can finally relieve your dad from being your go-to panic phone call.


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