This year has been a disaster when it comes to men.
Not like a little spillage on the floor, quickly to be cleaned up. I’m talking full on nuclear explosion with fallout of dramatic proportions.
After I split up with my sons father nearly four years ago, I spent two years taking a break from men and dating completely. We had been together for 6 years and I wanted my primary focus to me and my little man. So last year when I felt ready to dip my toe back in to the dating pool, I wasn’t really sure what to expect..
I didn’t however expect the first boyfriend to call my son a b*****d while we were on holiday, and then find out he’d already lined up my replacement (which lasted five minutes). I also didn’t expect him to then cause a mahoosive family issue when him and my cousin decided they wanted to start seeing each other. Excuse me while I just remove the knife from my back!
The second guy was different. He was kind and lovely, and he made me laugh like no-one else I ever knew. I felt so completely comfortable with him that I thought I had struck gold. Until his commitment issues put such a strain on things that we broke up. Then on my birthday we looked like we were going to try again, only for him to go down to Brighton and spend the night with another girl the very next day…and I found out because he blasted it all over social media when he didn’t think I’d see it…Not only that but when he was caught out, the words ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t even come out of his mouth once, he just disappeared. Ta mate.
So yes, this year has been an implosion of a-welcome-back-to-dating year. So now that it’s Christmas and I’m single again, I thought I would share with you 10 reasons why I’m happy to be singe this Christmas…
1. Not having to buy pressies for a boyfriend means my boxing day sales fund is now looking rather healthy. Not having to buy the weird things men want for Christmas means I’m now looking forward to kitting out my own wardrobe for half the price in the sales. Boom.
2. No difficult family gatherings. To be fair, I usually get on really well with my boyfriends families – I think that’s really important. But at least this year there will be no Monopoly with dear old Aunt Gertrude twice removed, and no having to hold in my sarcasm in case it’s taken the wrong way. At least my own family know I’m sarcastic and not just an absolute loon.
3. I have my own traditions at Christmas, and quite frankly, I don’t want to change them! I like my little routine and I don’t want to change it for some dude. So there.
4. I don’t have to share the pigs in blankets. Nuff said.
5. I don’t have to share the Bombay Sapphire either. Nuff said.
6. I don’t have to sit through the men versions of Christmas TV like ‘Match of The Day – The Christmas Special from 1989-2015’. Nope, the TV is all mine and I can watch Home Alone and The Grinch to my hearts desire.
7. I’ve always got really dressed up on Christmas Day and this year as it’s just me and my little man, we are staying in Christmas pjs all day! No-one other than Saint Nic to impress after all. I’m forgoing glamour for cosy this year.
8. I don’t have to pretend to like something if I don’t. I’m not heartless. I appreciate the thought behind gift buying more than anything else. But one year my ex actually bought me some marbles for Christmas. I thought they were a joke gift and asked him to explain, he said “no, they’re for you to use, you know, play with”. Erm, pardon? See, no boyfriend means I don’t have to pretend to appreciate that thought.
9. Wrapping no longer needs to be an art form. Well for my friends and family it does but when you do it to perfection (I get a bit OCD!) with ribbon and bows and matching tags etc it can take an absolute age to wrap everything. This year not having a fella means one less person to obsess over wrapping standards.
10. And finally, quite frankly, this year I’m glad I’m single because if the standard of men out there is summarised by the two men I’ve met this year, then I’m happy to be drama free and single this Christmas!