Sunday, 8 November 2015

28 Things You Learn By The Time You're 28

It's my birthday in a week or so and I've been reflecting on all of the wonderfully hard learnt life lessons I've had in the past 27 years (I'm 28 this month).

It's funny how the older you get (oo-er) the more open you become to learning about life, yourself and the world around you. I think it's because in our teens and early twenties we are so sure that we've got it all sussed - and then we actually realise that we have no clue what we're doing, but neither does anyone else, so hey, lets all wing it together. Either that or I was just incredibly stubborn in my younger years.

So, as the big 3-0 begins to loom (a few years yet, I know), I thought I would share with you the things I've learnt, and hope to God that I'm not the only one...


1. Hangovers last longer. WAY longer. Those days of sleeping till 3pm and then junk fooding it through the day, with little sign of a headache - they're long gone. Now you're lucky if you aren't still feeling ill 2-3 days later.

2. You've accepted your taste in men sucks. Big time. You also have zero clue what to do about it.

3. You've not yet stopped phoning your mum on a Sunday asking how you cook a Sunday roast exactly like she does. And how long do you cook gammon for, or how do you make that lamb dish she does? You've accepted you've not yet stopped asking, so you probably never will.

4. Someone lied. You still gets spots in your twenties, and your late twenties at that.


5. That cute stationery shop? Anything pink and fluffy? You don't have to hide your love for kitsch things anymore. It's kind of cool to like the previously uncool.

6. You obsess about ageing. That large birthday approaching in a few years is like another reminder that you're not yet engaged or married and you still can't boil an egg properly.

7. You actually eat salad. Out of choice. Your mother refuses to believe this, even when she's a witness.

8. Being an adult is just googling how to do stuff.

9. No-one buys you advent calendars and you can't quite bring yourself to buy your own. You almost covert your own child's daily countdown...

10. You value your work colleagues. You spend most of your waking hours with them, and you may as well get on with them and have some fun with them, or else the days will be painfully slow. And boring.

11. No-one is going to tell you off for eating dessert for dinner. Woohoo!

12. You feel so smarmy when you see your old maths teacher. You never did need that square root of pi.

13. You don't experiment with high fashion styles anymore. You've found what fits, looks good and works for your budget and you're not prepared to stray too far away from it.

14. That old saying is true, you're stronger than you think. You can take more than you think you can bear. You got this. Whatever 'this' is.


15. As much as spontaneity is brilliant, you welcome plans and routine. You even buy calendars and planners to help you keep track of everything. And if you don't have your diary and someone invites you to an event, you break out in cold sweats.

16. Netflix and chill actually does mean watching Netflix and chilling out - in fluffy slippers and bun head.

17. They lied. Your body won't look like that, ever.

18. You understand why expensive underwear exists. And what's more, you actually own some.


19. No longer do you go for the youth of today drinks like WKD, nope, you're all about Gin. Your tastes have matured and you don't even care.

20. You like what you like. Your hobbies make you happy and you couldn't care less who thinks otherwise.

21. You understand the importance of keeping your mouth shut at times. Doesn't always mean you manage to though...

22. Chipped nail varnish is completely unacceptable. No excuses.

23. Speaking of unacceptable, bad spelling and grammar will offend you. You appreciate the ability to spell and punctuate.

24. Sometimes when you open your mouth your mother comes out. Worse, sometimes your grandmother.

25. Have a job you love. Life is too short to hate where you spend the majority of your waking hours. But don't quit until you've got another one lined up.


26. Scented candles are the best thing in the world. It doesn't matter how expensive they are, they're an investment in the cosiness of your home.

27. Nights out don't equal the most fun. Sometimes the best nights are the ones on the sofa laughing with your girls so much you can't remember why you ever wanted to get dolled up, totter in heels and throw away the best part of £100 for a three day hangover...

28. You don't have to ask permission to get a tattoo or stay out late, and it feels so good.

So, do you agree? Or have I missed anything out?!


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