Sunday, 9 August 2015

Things I Learned on Holiday

Having just returned from an amazing week in Malta with Mr W, I have found myself completely relaxed, chilled out to the max and full of writing inspiration (yay!)

Now, I can't pretend that our holiday was a mass of history, culture and education... although we did go on a historic day trip, so it kind of counts. However, this holiday did teach me lots of things - lots of very important life 'things'...

1. Drinking cocktails all day is perfectly acceptable. It's also perfectly acceptable to start drinking them from 10am when the poolside bar opens. "When in Rome"(Malta) so they say.

2. The 'perfect body' doesn't exist. Sitting on a sun lounger people watching in-between chapters of your book is better when you have dark sunglasses on to conceal your intrigue. After realising I hadn't worn a bikini in public since my son was born (yep, nearly five years ago) I was a little nervy about this. The last five years has produced some amazing bodies...I'm talking the Kardashian hips and butt, the Beyonce curves and the Hollywood smile. Sitting on my sun lounger, sipping cocktails I realised these bodies aren't real! Hurrah for the revelation! Those bodies are fake, created by surgeons for the rich and famous who live with all the same niggling insecurities. They just have the money to do something about it. Normal people (a.k.a 99% of the population) have normal bodies. Some have lumps and bumps, some are too wide, too skinny, no curves, child bearing hips, no shape, scars etc. This is normal, this is okay. We all have things we would change, and most of the time no-one else notices, that's what makes all our bodies beautiful, even with our individual differences. I have the body of someone who's had a child, and yet as I realised that the 'perfect body' doesn't exist (except for those European sixteen year olds who have yet to have babies, or learn what curves are) and it gave me so, SO much more body confidence. Walking around in my bikini - in public - was a strut, not a skulk. Hu-flipping-rah!

3. It's okay to take gorgeous wedges, heels and various stunning summer shoes away with you, and actually find that you don't wear any of them - favouring your trusty flip flops, even for meals out. Comfort wins over fashion in 40 degrees.

4. Frizzy hair. It can't be tamed, it's like a rebellious teenager. It's downright annoying but the relief from tying it up all the time, keeping your neck cool is a sensation matched my little.

5. Couples argue on holiday. It's normal. Having been a while since I went on holiday with someone I loved, it was almost like the first time. The odd argument is normal, fuelled by heat exhaustion and cocktails since 10am. I learned this by watching numerous other couples argue (in public) trying to keep their points of view under their breath, but failing to disguise the fact that they wanted to hurtle their drinks, snacks or sun cream at their other half. It's reassuring to know that the odd argument is shared universally by all!

6. Pizza in Malta leaves a lot to be desired. It's therefore perfectly fine to come home and crave pizza, to a degree you've never known before. God bless the Italians for creating it.

7. Queen sized beds are all fun and games when it's hot and sweaty at night, but it's okay to prefer your little double bed because then Mr W is actually within cuddle reach. Who wants so much space that it feels like you're sleeping alone?! Not me, I'll take my human radiator and night time cuddles over space any day.

8. The European's may do tans much better than us Brits. However, their tea is foul. Full on, hold-your-nose-and-swallow foul. Praise for PG tips.

9. It's okay to snigger to yourself when your book is hilarious. You may look like you're on day release from the looney bin, but who cares?

10. Boys are addicted to football. Going on holiday means you have to embrace this, or surgically remove their phone from their hands.

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