Wednesday, 19 August 2015

10 Ways To Survive A Break-Up

I’ve been through my share of break-up’s. Haven’t we all?! So I’ve learnt what works and what doesn’t to help dull the pain that pounds in your heart (other than Renee).

1. Binge. Find a new show, buy the boxset or sign up for Netflix and binge on it. Constantly. Those crappy evenings when you’re on your own and suddenly your house feels mahoosive and empty without your ex? Well, cram that time with as many episodes as you can possibly squeeze into every waking moment. I recommend something along the action line, nothing like a bit of mindless violence to help cure a broken heart. Avoid anything with a romantic storyline. Not good .

2. Eat. A lot. No point even attempting a diet in this time. You’re already miserable, why make it worse? You want cake? Eat cake. Plus it’s actually really hard to cry when you’re eating something yummy. Trust me. Even if you don’t feel hungry, buy the things you love…except in the first few days…you probably won’t eat a lot then and your Chinese will totally go to waste (yes, this happened to me at the weekend-boo. I still begrudge Mr W that Chinese.)

3.Make a playlist. And I’m not talking about the type that make you hate the world (and your ex) even more. No, leave the slow, tear inducing tracks well alone. Build a playlist that celebrates being a strong, independent woman! I recommend things like “Leave, Get Out” by Jojo, “No Scrubs” by TLC and “Do my thing” by Miley Cyrus (no I don’t like her, but the song is great for this season of life! Once the playlist is ready, listen to it at every opportunity-subliminally if needs be!

4.Say ‘yes’ to everything. Every time someone ask you to do something – say yes. Your social life will explode, in a great way. Just make sure you write everything on the calendar, otherwise you’ll forget everything. Don’t know the girls in the other department that well and they suggest drinks when they hear about your break up? Say yes! You’ve got absolutely nothing to lose, except another crappy night at home feeling rubbish (thanks LJ!)

5. Lean on your friends. They love you. No matter if this is your first or fifteenth break-up, they love you and hate to see you hurting. They are happy to be your soundboard. They will be there every step of the way. Whether they are in your house every evening, or constantly there on Whatsapp (love you #SHS) your friends should support you like mine have/are. My best friend is currently monitoring my progress, apparently I’m allowed to eat cheesecake for dinner (last night) and things like that this week, but next week it’s not allowed. That’s true friendship right there.

6. Get a new hair-did. Stereotypical but yes, new hair make you feel like a million dollars…on the outside. And hey, you can ignore the inner pain a little bit if the outside looks fabulous darling! I’m all for radical change (I once cut my elbow length hair into a chin length bob after a break-up) but hey, a trim and some highlights would be fine too if that’s your thing.

7. Delete his number. Unfriend him on social media. Delete the painful photo’s. Yes, really. It’s going to stunt your emotional re-growth. Who wants to see how much he doesn’t miss you, how many new girls he’s meeting and how little he really cares/cared about you? Delete the links and move on. Chances are, if you weren’t friends before then you won’t be friends after. A clean break is always best…hire a hit man if needed to ensure.

8. Make sure you have things to look forward to. That trip to New York you were planning? Price it up anyway. Can’t find anyone to go with you? Price it up for one. Nothing wrong with a bit of solo-travelling for a week or two. Don’t let splitting up with someone stop you doing the things you wanted to do. No, you can’t share the memories with them, but you can’t change that. Don’t miss out on life because they aren’t intelligent enough to want to share more memories with you. It’s their loss.

9. Don’t use alcohol to numb the pain. Well, not all the time. Make sure you’ve got wine in and if you want it, then have a glass or two after work. But don’t take it to the extreme that you’re filling your work water bottle up with voddy. Because seriously, no man is worth alcoholism. Promise. Try to aim for the weekends and you’ll realise you don’t need to numb the pain with alcohol (the Prozac works fine on its own).

10. Do the things that make you feel good. That’s different for us all. Personally I love putting music on full blast and dancing around in my pj’s. I like hot bubble baths while watching Netflix with my laptop balanced on top of the toilet. I like doodling, I like snuggly socks and comfy blankets. I like eating desserts for dinner. So I have been doing these things, and you should too. You don’t need another person to make you happy, you can find happiness in the bubbles, the bottle or the boogie.

So. Breaking up isn’t easy to do. It’s not acceptable to fall apart, no man is worth that – whether you were together three weeks or thirty years. Another person never deserves to ruin your happiness. It’s perfectly acceptable to use the recovery time to do crazy, have fun, weep, laugh and go with the flow. No-one has expectations of you when you’re hurting (except maybe your boss, landlord and bank, but hey, you get the gist). Time heals (apparently) and while you’re waiting for the pieces of your heart to be gaffa-taped back together again, make sure you, do you. 
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