This is an interesting one, and I'm going to jump straight in - what do men and women really want?
Quite often the question is asked about us women - what do we want? Apparently the male sex think that this is incredibly difficult to answer, which totally baffles and somewhat amuses me. It's really not that difficult. Women want fidelity, romance and a mix of all things fun and serious (just not at the same time). Then we each have the odd extra requirement too, mine for example is a penchant for Bombay Sapphire and the ability to make me want to rip their clothes off at any given moment. Some women may want a man who shops, a man who doesn't wear socks and sandals - me? I'm all about the gin, and the chemistry turned up as high as possible.
But overall, I think us women are easy to suss out. Mostly because, if you ask us, we'll tell you, there's no messing around. Going back to the individual things that all women want, let me clarify - different women want varying degrees of these things, but I think all women want these things on some level.
Firstly, fidelity. No-one wants a cheater. And boys, for the record - flirting is cheating's ugly sister. Women want to be able to trust their man, we don't want to stay up at night worrying if you've found your way to the local trollops house. Likewise, we don't want you to flirt with girls, text other girls and generally flaunt your manhood. Friends who are female are fine, but don't cross that line - you know where it is. You may not cheat per-say, but if you wouldn't do it (flirting) in front of us, then it's usually a sign that it's crossing the boundaries - so avoid/abort. We will be faithful to you, all we ask is you do the same. Fidelity means watching you say no to another woman, and only have eyes for us...this works in your favour - do you know how hot it is to watch you turn the other women away, in favour of holding our hand and making googly-eyes with us? Yep - sure fire way to get the best sex of your life when you get home. It's win/win really.
Secondly - romance. Again, on some level we all want this, although admittedly we will have widely differing views on what actually classes as 'romance'. For example, we're not all 12-red-roses-delivered-to-the-office-on-Valentines-day kind of girls. However, some of us are - and that's okay! Some girls class romance as their man telling them how beautiful they are, pouring their wine, sending affectionate messages/emails/letters. And some women class romance as candles, rose petals and a bubble bath together. Then there's the girls who class romance as playing Call of Duty together...I have yet to meet this species of female, but I'm assured they exist..and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. For me, romance is affection and attention. I love big grand gestures, don't get me wrong, when one guy genuinely offered to fly me to New York for our first date, I literally nearly swooned so far off my seat that I was practically two floors down before I came round. But, overall romance for me is a text in the morning and last thing at night, the odd text throughout the day, it's phone calls to say I'm missed, appreciated and loved. It's walking hand in hand and being stopped and kissed...it's those things, the every day things that are important to me...So yes, romance. Romance is key.
Thirdly (and kind of fourthly) is the ability to have fun and be serious. No, not at the same time. But all women need a man we can rely on. A man who knows the importance of paying bills and can hold a conversation about the deeper things in life - we don't want a man who thinks that the most recent piece of world news is that the Spice Girls split up. We don't want boring (okay, some of us do - remember, that's okay) but we need you to be able to sit in front of our parents and not talk about the football scores and kebabs all the time. On the flip side, we need fun too! Again, everyone's idea of fun is different, but we all need and want fun in our lives. No-one has time for a relationship without fun, right? If your idea of fun is train spotting, then that's okay, likewise if you're into snowboarding down mountains naked, backwards - that's cool too. Me personally I'm more into a guy who can let his hair down and enjoy a night out, and someone who likes the odd board game with vino just as much. Someone who makes me laugh, and entertains me with sarcasm is my idea of fun. But generally, we all need fun in our lives and relationships. It's not hard to figure out what we do for fun though boys!
I do also appreciate a man with a penchant for Bombay Sapphire and a man who I am so attracted to that I can't keep my thoughts in line. These are important for me. Okay the Gin one is a joke (kind of). But the attraction one is quite important, I've been in some relationships where I've been attracted to the guy, but not rip-his-clothes-off kind of attracted. With Mr Wonderful it's the most intense chemistry that I've ever had, and I wouldn't ever settle for less again....It's also quite important that a man has ten fingers and toes...
So really, I don't think we ask for much. And I certainly don't think that we are asking for anything too complex! So why, oh why, is it so hard for men to grasp?
Next article to follow - what do men want?