Wednesday, 25 March 2015

My First Lesson



My first lesson in online dating is something that I should have been able to avoid. Sadly wearing my oversized clod-hoppers, I waded directly into this one.

I seem to have attracted a bit of an online stalker who just won't take the hint - and by this point the hint is a massive, flashing, neon sign that screams "NO THANKS".

I will call him Mr Dee.

Mr Dee started messaging me on Match last month. He seemed nice, and although he only had a few pictures, he wasn't ogre looking, so I exchanged a few messages with him. After a bit of back and forth, I was about to log off and head out, so I sent him a quick message with my number telling him to text me if he wanted to continue the chat. Within minutes, minutes, I had a message. I raised an eyebrow, but even then the alarm bells weren't ringing.

I had a busy day doing Lady Writes things - the gym, waxing my eyebrows to make sure they didn't resemble a caterpillar...you know, that kind of day. Mr Dee and I swapped a few messages but the conversation wasn't thrilling. Sometimes that's okay as people can be a bit reserved, but it wasn't just that, his spelling and grammar had nose-dived too. Massively. Now I might sound like a prude here, because I know that this isn't everyone's strong point, but for me I need to date someone who spells. And knows how to use a comma. I'm also quite keen that they know the difference between your/you're. It's probably because my job is in Communications, but anyone who abbreviates and uses words like "u" and "luv" is not going to be the man for me. So when he then called me "hun" several times, I knew it wasn't meant to be. This word can only be used by girlfriends, and with mine it's usually when one of us is sobbing into wine and ice-cream over the latest heartbreak in our group. Sadly for Mr Dee, he signed his own fate. I swiftly deleted the message without replying. Yes. I'm a wimp and didn't explain. BUT, we only swapped a few messages, we didn't sign  contract (my bad).

The next day came another message asking if I was okay (because he hadn't heard back obviously). I deleted it again. Another one several hours later, asking if everything was okay because I was quiet. How did he know i was quiet?! He'd messaged me for a total of two days, he knew nothing about my quiet side (because it doesn't exist).

This went on for a week, but seemed to stop after that, and I felt relieved. I imagined waking up to his face pressed against my window. Creepy.

Sadly something sparked his interest again. He messaged me again, and the texting began again, by this point asking me to tell him if I wasn't interested anymore. At this point mate, was it even a question, or a full blown conclusion?!

Still I ignored his nothing if not persistent messages until I blocked him on whatsapp. Within 30 seconds he text me asking why I did that. Now I was a little bit angry and indignant because of his constant messaging so I did send him a reply commending him on his persistence, but said I didn't think we were compatible because he was too demanding. I wished him all the best with finding a nice girl. He called me rude. I blocked him from my phone.

If there is never another post on this blog again please send the police.

Mr Dee, I commend your persistence, but I recommend you invest in a dictionary. And learn to take a hint.
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